THE KINKS YOU FIND IN LIFE

Different

2011-08-31T02:40:00.000-07:00

That feeling, the one where I've just realized I haven't been thinking about you. You, who left this jagged itchy pain filled scar right across my chest. I look back at myself and find, I've not let myself drift back to you. Remembering that I shouldn't let myself forget that you hurt me the way no one ever could. But that you taught me how it is to hurt so bad.

People look at me with pity, and confusion. Because they do not understand.. They never did.

How could they?

We never 'had' anything. We never 'had' what people are suppose to have. We never connected, we never felt. We never understood. It was all in my head.

Which is why no matter how I loved you, no matter how I liked you, I can never never forgive you. No matter who tells me to I cannot, you know why?

Because you don't want my forgiveness.

But who gives a fuck now? Not even I.

I found, someone, someone who is my friend, someone who is different, someone who gently places balm on my wound. I may not love him, but he is something to cover you. To place a shield against.

I don't even know why I write to you like this. You never cared, or acknowledged my feelings or heart.

Still, it makes me better. That I care, that I feel, unlike you.

Slowly, I hope you fall off the face of the earth.

2011-08-27T10:22:00.000-07:00

What is it in here,

that you want so bad,

What is it you need,

is it on fire?!

Blow it up now,

destroy it now,

since you're so scared

of it getting out.

2011-08-12T18:28:00.000-07:00

Creeeak

Sounds the step of your foot fall
on the old wooden floor
as you press your weight upon the wall
and brace yourself futhermore.

Breath puffed,
face panicked,
hands cuffed
to the chains that clinked.

2010-09-30T03:44:00.000-07:00

Let the beat fall to the ground,
make the walls shake from the sound,
Let the wave take you through the halls,
of your absent minded thought balls.

Soar

2010-05-06T03:20:00.000-07:00

feel yourself above the clouds
beyond the seas
across the grass lands
through the breezy air

What does it feel like?
away from the pain
away from the suffering
away from the abuse
away from everything

Does it feel
wonderful?
splendid?
unexplainable?
Amazing?
Everything you could have imagined
and more?

I hope for you
that it does.

I hope
that you soar.

Feeling

2010-04-30T08:18:00.000-07:00

I pray to god
the one I believe is real
that one day
I would understand
the way I feel
the way I am
the way I live

I want to feel
the way I want to
feel.

the way I need to feel.

The way I wish I felt.

so please. God, I wish.

cry

2010-04-30T08:15:00.001-07:00

I want
but cannot reach
I reach
but cannot touch
I touch
and everything crumbles

I want to cry
but cannot let the tears fall
I want to scream
but there is no soundproof room
I want to destroy
but not everything is breakable

I am stuck
and I hate it
I am caged
and I hate it
I am hollow
and I hate it
I hate.
I cry.

Does it help?

no.

Take a.

2010-04-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

Take a flower
touch the petal
feel the soft feeling
brush against
your fingertips
velvety like
soft material

Take a breath
of the amazing
sunset
and the scent
of a million flowers
surrounding you

Take a look
at the vast variety of colours
and the open sky above you
and the beautiful landscape around you

Lastly,
take my hand
and smile your smile
the one I love so,
and let me
show you
with open eyes
and open arms
what the world really is.

Hurt

2010-02-28T05:51:00.000-08:00

It hurts. Inside. Alot. I don't know what it is, but it hurts. I makes my lips turn downwards and my chest feel heavy. And I can't right. Or read. It won't go in. I feel like the I want to cry. I feel like I want sleep. I want to sleep and never wake up.

2010-02-25T03:53:00.001-08:00

Teleportation methods
Blue purple melodies
Running with elephants
Through all my endevouries

Polka polka poka dots
spotted round your head
make me oh so
fascinated.

Darling turn this way
one more time
and let me take you on the spin of your life
with my teleportetion methods
and blue purple melodies
and run with the elephaaaaants
through all my en-da-vou-ries!

Da da di do
da da di do
oh woah oooh oh.

Do a little dance
and make me quiver
with your stance
as you make do with
LANCE ALOT.

:D

The awesomeness of gore

2010-01-09T06:33:00.000-08:00

ICT is the most boring when your teacher is like a drone made just for boredom. I wouldn't mind ICT if this guy wasn't just so boring.
--

A little something to get out of my mind.

--

*Clink*

A soft sound in the surrounding darkness. The room was large and it was cold even though no air passed through it. The surrounding darkness just seemed to make it even darker and I knew something was in here. I could feel their prescence. A shiver went through my body and my lips trembled.

*Click*

The lights flickered on slowly. Row by row by row. My eyes widened.

The smell hit me like a wall, hard. The scent of fresh blood, how could I have missed it? I must be to used to smelling it so often now, but the lights flicking on was like a switch. My senses kicked in and I had to do everything to keep my rising bile from coming out. Every light that flickered on showed a new row of mangled limbs.

When all the lights were on I dry heaved. It was like a sea of red. Mangled limbs, not a single whole body in the lot. Urecognizable heads, arms, legs, eye balls, and some parts I didn't even know were part of the human body.

Blood covered everything like paint and swirled around my white shoes, tainting them.

I stared at the middle of the room. There he sat, knees hugged to his chest, head straight, eyes glassy.

I breathed the breath I'd been holding. The lights went out, enveloping me into darkness again. I shut my mouth and held the wall behind me.

Something, I could feel something infront of me. Him, it must be him, my brain thought, trying not to panic.

As fast as the lights went out they came back on and I saw him. Centimeters away from my face.
Narrowed blue eyes, peachy coloured skin, full red lips, fangs barely seen. Hari messy and un kept, but looking like a model's hair. Face sharper than before, Limbs longer than before, body leaner and more muscular than before. All together he was a sight to behold, power and beauty.

His eyes were locked onto mine and the expression in them made me gasp. His eyes were wide and curious. As I looked closer I realized his face was relaxed and his pose as well.

He lifted his hand steadily to my face barely touching the skin. The ghostly touch of his finger sent shivers through my body. His gaze inched over my face agonizingly slow. I let out a shaky breath at the touch as his finger brushed my chin.

Slowly he brought his fingers to the bottom of my chin and turned my face to the side as he curiously took in every detail. He turned it to the other side again and brought his thumb to my bottom lip. He rubbed it gently before moving close to touch his to mine.

It was soft and gentle and amazing.

His hands encircled my waist and his forehead pressed against mine as he let out a breath.

"Why?" he barely whispered.

"Why what?" I retorted shakily.

"Why the fuck do you taste so good?"

Oh my god you hoebag!

2009-12-20T04:33:00.000-08:00

HOEBAG is my favourite word. God, I love As Cole turns to Ash. Awesome story. Find it on Fictionpress. Lys, you know what that is. Ha ha. Laugh your fricking ass off Material. Damn Fricking awesome SHIT. Reread it over and over again.

Lyssa was over and we slept at SIX in the fucking morning from playin Gears of War2. HAHAH finished it the next day. Shit tireeeeed. But it was the funniest shit. Playing with ShafiqandLys on Gears of war is like the funniest thing. Lys keeps getting me dead but is kinda awesome for a first time player, even though she can never find me even when I'm right in front of her. -_-

I FINISHED IT, though. ON HARDCORE. It feels so goooood. I know I'm weird but yeah. It's awesome.

Watching

2009-12-20T04:08:00.000-08:00

Watching from the window
Watching from across the room
Watching from across the bed
Watching from behind
Watching from the window sill
Watching from the Doorstep still

Watching you read a book
Watching you cry from onions
Watching you silently cook
Watching you laugh
Watching you as you strive
Watching you smile with glee
Watching you sleeping peace

From Death

2009-12-17T01:09:00.000-08:00

Candle in the window
cat in the cradle
little boy on the mantle
silly girl on the window sill
pussy willow in the basement jar
furry lentil in a bowl of flour
cookie jar broken on the floor
sighing mother at the bar
crying father not so far
living room door lying ajar
and the windows open
to let the cool winter air
fly throughas the flies go by
and the little boy begins to cry
and the father storms by
and the mother passes by
and the sillydarling girl
jumps out the window

The next day the sun is bright
The next day the mother is sober
The next day son has grown
The next day the fatheris strong
and the small bird begins to sing

There is life from death
move on and remember
the sacrificed
one not
in vain
of the daughter
slain.

no title

2009-12-17T00:52:00.000-08:00

Your arms surround me
as your lips touch my forehead
as the snow falls around us
and your eyes touch my soul.

I watch the sky cloud over
the darkening clouds begn to thunder
your long unawakening slumber
pains my heart and I sink under.

Your warmth begins to fade
as your touch begins to linger
and the light begins to simmer
as your remains float down the river.

At first I tried forget
then I began to remember
and when the tears flowed
I tried to destroy
and finally the wind blew
and I moved on
to stop
myself
from dying.

RETARDED POST.

2009-11-15T04:51:00.000-08:00

TWO CRAZIES AND COMPUTER. HI.

At Lyssa's. Awesomeness. Loving Owl City. Stupid lyssa. addicted to something new. Damn. OH WELL. IT IS AWESOME> Wahahahahaha. Tired and crap but still more hyped than Lyssa. She can sleep like a rock and look like one to. =D That's just lys. Re-reading aNgus Thongs and full-fronttle snogging. Awesomest book. movie kinda sucked. Robbie was such a let down in the movie. =D

Another day another print

2009-10-23T07:13:00.000-07:00

Say the same andthe same andthe same over and over again

2009-10-21T04:18:00.000-07:00

Keep spinning
and
spinning
and
spinning
and
spinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnning

around.

Cause we will
sing
and
sing
and sing
till your eardrums hurt.

And the night goes on with the lights shining down on our heads as the world comes around and groans to a halt when the snakes climb on before the sunsets zooms on.

And loud and loud and loud & clear we scream the purity and
rage

And on and on and on we moan about the lies and trys or our lives.

When we should all just jump into the sea and live it all now.

**

Sighs. my life is shortened again. Damn. Lol. Ilove sighing to much. But then again to me its more of a release of breathe.

Its not a sigh when i'm bREATHING.

I'm almost finished reading Nick&Norah's infinite playlist and I have to say, its a book i cannot put down. It is damn fucking good. I love nick and i love i-am-schizo-Norah. And I have to sya I adore Tris as well. She's actually a cool bitch. Ha ha. The movie cannot live up to the book. THe feel is completely different, but the movie is a nice warm funny gay ride with a little 'Iwannaholdyourhand'. In all a damn fucking good movie to.

I letting loose of love and letting go of me. I wanna fly free and wander. I wanna go around and thunder. I wanna see the light i never saw when i said no to walking around. I wanna not care about the way i dress. I wanna a lovable funny bitch of a gal.

Hopefully.

ZEE

Loving missing hoping snuggling cuddling

2009-10-08T21:29:00.000-07:00

Saying that you are when you're not. Saying that you will when you won't. Saying that you were when you weren't.

I hate you for that.

But staying. and holding. and loving. and warming. me. I love you.

Write your words in letters of love on my heart of broken

2009-10-07T21:56:00.000-07:00

I dunno what spurged this sudden need to write anything that comes to mind. I'm in ICT (compu. class) writing on my blog, reading my all to favourite fanfictions and looking at ART. I love deviantart. Such eye candy. I could stare at the comp the whole day if I were allowed. AH. I like someone i like somone. I'm sure of it now. so i'm gonna say I LIKE SOMEONE. NYEHEHEHEHE>

Another round

2009-10-04T05:52:00.000-07:00

i do some weird things. jumping from the stairs is one of them .

pennies

2009-10-02T18:58:00.000-07:00

I have just seen the half of a giant dead bee that my mom has kept and forgotten to tell me about. Its on the end of the keyboard. Its freaky. Ha ha. God. I've just exceeded my credit limit by fifty percent which means I've spent 168. Shit. argh dammit. I didn't expect that from just smsing. eh heeh. I have to stop then. HEllo facebook.

I've got writers block. Again. And Again. and AGain. I can't write much... ugh.

empty

2009-09-30T22:29:00.000-07:00

I ... don't know. I don't think. I don't eat, sleep, walk, talk, breathe. I can't see. I can't smell. I can't hear the birds chirp. I can't touch the velvet soft of my cloak.

I am dead.

I hate you. I hate me. I hate this world. I hate love.

with. out. you.

2009-09-30T22:27:00.000-07:00

I can't see you. I can't feel you. I can't smell you. There's no warmth. No smile. No soft laughter. There's no feeling of happiness. There's only a cold dread. As I search and search and find nothing instead. Of you.

I miss you

gone.

2009-09-30T22:21:00.000-07:00

Your gone. Your warmth, the scent you gave off. The smile. The laughter. The silly comments you messaged. The lame jokes that made me laugh. The happiness that you brought with you. Everywhere you went. Your messages are all thats left. My inbox hasn't been updated in days.

Did I chase you off?

life. beside you.

2009-09-30T22:17:00.000-07:00

I stand beside you staring at the floor. I can feel you beside me shifting. I can smell your warm home smell. I can see your toes wiggling on the floor. I want to look up and match your eyes. I want to see you smile back down. I want to be the warmth beside you.

I'm begining to think being your friend hurts. Because everytime i look at you, you see right through me. Then I know I haven't a chance.

I love you.

drawing. here. sitting. in. your. heart.

2009-09-30T22:13:00.000-07:00

I wanna lean on your shoulder. I wanna breathe in your smell. It's like standing in a grassy field surrounded by trees when your around. I wanna make you smile and look at me when you do. I wanna hear you laugh and make that funny face you do. I wanna know your relaxed when i'm around with you.

I want you.

FOREVER&ALWAYS : BREATHE

2009-09-29T19:32:00.000-07:00

I like Taylor Swift's song. T_T I never thought I'd see the day when I'd like her songs. But sometimes everyone just needs a very cliched song. They're sweet but very commercial. I've just created another blog. For my story since I've forgotten my fictionpress password....

www.foreveralwaysbreathe.blogspot.com

=D please visit. If you read this. Hehe. Hopefully someone's reading this.

Lately I've been stuck in a good mood. But I get more tired as the day go on. I can't wake up without feeling pain. I can't smile without feeling my face sag. I feel down and yet elated half the time.

Yesterday, stayed up late, collaging my wall. It's not done but it looks good. Will post picture.

Posted a story(FINALLY) on fanfiction.net. Ugh took so long. Seriously. Its called White Shadows. A HPDM. I'm a huge fan. ha ha. SSRL and BZNL as well. heheheh. and a Hermione fan. Whoevers a fan out there PLEASE READ IT! Thx.

Z

Have you ever..?

2009-08-01T01:08:00.000-07:00

I don't believe you. I don't want to see you. I don't wanna hear you. I don't wanna feel you. I I don't want to know that you won't be there. I don't want to feel they way I do. I don't need to know you won't care. I don't need you.

I can't feel you. Ican't see yu. I can't touch you. I can't reach you. I can't smell you. I can't even breathe you.

Your gone.

Don't let me go

2009-07-08T06:43:00.000-07:00

I wanna hold on forever. Lying in your arms. Taking in your glow.

Amazing

2009-04-17T07:30:00.000-07:00

He watched her. Her long dark auburn wave like hair swish in the air. Her lean curvy body moving to the beat and blending with the many bodies around her. Her eyes closed in concerntration. Her skin shining in the shifting light. The chain holding the small tear drop crystal, hanging around her long neck.

She turned to face him. He remembered.

She had known he was looking. She had always been able to feel that tantalizing gaze on her. So she looked at him. He sat higher than everybody else on a plush chair guarded by his own men. His black hair so striking against his light skin. Thin-framed glasses sat on his hair and he held a wine glass in his hand. His eyes, the ones that made her shiver when they stared at her, were an amazing dark blue. He wore a plain white shirt and black dress pants. His angular, smooth face was smirking darkly.

She remembered.

One step. Two step. Three step. She stood before him. He placed his glass into one of his men's hands without looking away. She reached forward and touched his cheek.

They were complete

Didn't you know i was waitin' on you?

2009-03-22T00:43:00.000-07:00

I ADORE KANYE WEST'S ALBUM.

I just had to do that. was itching to actually.

Troat infections hate me

2009-03-21T02:03:00.000-07:00

I really really dislike my throat. I have yet again a sore throat. Three days in a row and i saw the doc today. Actually had fever. I'm doing my Eng project now on Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi. He is awesome.

(cough. cough)

Download Ne-yo and Kanye West's new albums after mum bought them. Love em' of course. Got a scarf, tube top, medicine...., and my phone is FINALLY repaired. LOL. Took damn long. I so missed my old phone. Keypad is way easier than the one i had.

J.T.R

2009-03-03T03:36:00.000-08:00

Jack the ripper. A very interesting topic.

From Hell. A very interesting movie.

Anything else i can think of. . . not very interesting.

I was thinking of my two exs. Two because i rarely ever think of the first one. Anyway, I was thinking of them and which i liked more and i do realize now it was more the want for touch than like. But i did really like one of them and one that i liked more hurt me the most.

I don't know why i cling on to the memories when they can let go.

Throat Inflammation

2009-02-24T23:03:00.000-08:00

I hate the KH lab for its Sawdust now. :P I hate going ahem ahem every five minutes. I sound like UMbrige for gods sake. I sigh. the first time i start liking school and i actually get sick. The painting that my teach gave us is finished and actually i'm quite ashamed that it took me so long.

I wonder if she is going to give us the canvas anytime soon. I really want to start that collage. I swear school is awesome now. I rarely feel like its a bother. and i truly have no idea why i sound like such a ponce.

EUgh Argh Gah.

Okay. I feel loads better now. Damn. Cramps.

More than something else

2009-01-14T20:55:00.000-08:00

Amber blinked her eyes open. It was bright, very very bright. She hated bright on any normal day. But right now it was quite welcome. She looked around for Jem, her nickname for Martin. She didn't see him anywhere around her. She only saw green. Trees and bushes. She was in a forest. "F*ck its green," she swore.

She got up and dusted herself of. That was when she saw it. Her hands, they were covered in tattoo like green tendrils that snaked all over her arm. Her eyes went wide. She lifted the hem of her tank top to see that they were on her stomach to. Goin up to her chest as well as down her legs. "Shit," she gasped. They weren't ugly and they didn't make her look completely green. They were thin plant like tendrils that just looped around her gently making shapes.

They were actually beautiful. It creeped Amber out none the less. She took three deep breaths before picking up her bag and moving out from the small flat area she was at. She had no idea where she was going but her gut told her where to step.

---

Martin woke up underwater. First he panicked but then realized he wasn't drowning.

Something else

2009-01-06T04:45:00.001-08:00

Someone Somewhere doing Something Somewhat ODD

Amber clambered through the greenery looking for the sack she had just dropped sown a slope. She huffed angrily as she ripped plants apart. She was dead if she couldn’t find that knapsack. Credit cards, extra money, food, water, maps, books, passports, documents, and clothes were all inside. She would be helpless without it. She had always hated trekking, always. But she liked sports and was athletic. Otherwise she wouldn’t have met Jude Lanning, whom she was doing this all for. Amber sat down on a rock, panting.

He was in trouble and she was going to help him. Even if it meant risking her life and leaving everything she knew. Not that she didn’t want to. Her life had been off recently and people were acting odd. She was popular, yes, and lately people had been acting as if she didn’t exist. Her best friends ignored her and her parents went about without her. The only person who was immune was Jude and he had it worse. Wherever he went, people would glare at him, sneer, knock into him and even physically hurt him.

Then it became even worse. His parents attacked him and chased him halfway through town. He was seriously injured and couldn’t go to any hospital. He went to Amber and she patched him up. She held him and comforted him. She gave him the keys to her car and told him to drive to the cabin they spent the last summer holiday at. He should be safe there she had thought.

Amber sighed. She hoped he was doing alright while she was losing herself in the dense forest. They were seventeen and scared and tired and bloody confused. One minute their life was fine and the next thing its gone haywire. She really had no idea what to do. She just wanted to break down. But she knew she couldn’t. Jude was being strong and she needed to help him stay that way. At least until they were better off.

She pulled herself up again and stuck a hand into a large bush. After moving around a bit more she found it wedged between two rocks. She took two gulps of water and checked the map. She was almost at the cabin. Relief surged through her. She could see him again soon and she could have bath.

There was light coming from behind her. She turned and moved towards it. She was almost at the door when it burst open. Jude was standing there, eyes wide and mouth hanging. There was a blast of wind and he grabbed her, trying to get out of the way of whatever was in the cabin. Amber was blinded and then the world went black. The last thing she remembered was a sound of a small pop.

Piano pieces

2008-12-18T22:19:00.000-08:00

I guess I really am addicted to that stupid Yann Tiersen Guy. Argh. The Amelie theme, Comtine D'un Autre Ete, and Rue de Cascades are all so nice to listen to. The twilight movie's bella's lullaby is noice but doesn't suit the theme.

Staying with the topic... TWILIGHT SUCKED. mostly. Bella is actually pretty. But Edward looks drunk and retarded. Jasper looks like he was constipated and Rosalie looks fat. Jacob's cute when he doesn't have long hair thought.

A Long time

2008-12-18T20:56:00.000-08:00

Been reading alot recently. Started on Pendragon. It's alright but not super great heh sorry to you Pen' fans. I really prefer Artemis fowl and Demonata.

Later I have to go out with my mum and cous' to cicak man (STUPID FILM) just because he wants to and the poor guy just kena sunat *ouch*. I got new shorts a tee and A PRETTY NOTEBOOK. Ha hA ha hA. =D I'm high sue me. Its not like anyone reads this. EXCEPT YOU LYSSA and maybe viv when I update that is. He he yeah thanks.

Going to Penang on the 25th. FUN. ah i getta go swimming yar. HAVE FUN IN SINGAPORE LYSSA.

Change

2008-11-19T22:01:00.000-08:00

I did write a load of crap just now but it seems my computer hates me. It didn't upload it.

So here is a new post. Damned computer.

The sound a piano makes when its being played properly is such a beautiful sound. Whether its with anger or happiness or sadness it makes the most amazing sound.

I love it. But I can't play it.

I love the cello to. That I can play. well a little bit.

Ha ha maybe VERY little.

Someone I'm waiting for

2008-11-13T04:20:00.000-08:00

In the end this is where I begin.

I love that song. I love all their songs. But that particular one somehow makes me feel. happy. Ha ha. I doubt their suppose to do that.

Ah welll its just because I'm so bloody happy at the moment. The retarded thing is I have liquid paper on my fingers. Haha ITS REALLY NAIL POLISH DEARS. IT JUST LOOKS LIKE CRAP.

I know I haven't updated in a while. Lazy. Lack of intrest. Both.

Oh well

I'm Yours- Jason Mraz

2008-10-02T07:17:00.000-07:00

I love that song even though it's over played. Everywhere.

I love: On my mind- Damone
I will follow you into the dark- Death Cab For Cutie
Realize- Colbie Calliat

Make me think of somehting special.

Raya now. Very quiet for me cause the family is still kinda mourning. But it's fine. There is more time to study. PMR is almost here and it is kind of scary. =D hehe

Viv I'm sorry u get stuck in crap. BUT YOUR MY POG =D luv u lots.
HANN HANN TO. MISSING U PPL.

I love u viv. lols

2008-09-21T07:33:00.000-07:00

i am POG.
penguin. on. guard
Be sure when the tidal wave comes. Save yourselves says:
OH shit I remember that
v; sic transit gloria... glory fades. [away] says:
of course you do!
i just reminded you
duh -_-
Be sure when the tidal wave comes. Save yourselves says:
=D
i meant u.
sorry
I meant u remember that?
v; sic transit gloria... glory fades. [away] says:
duuuuuh.
POG is my title.
i like it
HMPH
Be sure when the tidal wave comes. Save yourselves says:
lol yes POG.
v; sic transit gloria... glory fades. [away] says:
yesterday chris was watching bambi
more like, he downloaded the movie
and watched it
BAMBI
the stupid deer
that can't walk
Be sure when the tidal wave comes. Save yourselves says:
ahahaha
v; sic transit gloria... glory fades. [away] says:
we are special ppl
Be sure when the tidal wave comes. Save yourselves says:
yes. we are
v; sic transit gloria... glory fades. [away] says:
i meant chris and i. but if you insist, i accept =D
hi special number 3
Be sure when the tidal wave comes. Save yourselves says:
AH no i'm threee!
v; sic transit gloria... glory fades. [away] says:
if you want, you can be special leader 1
Be sure when the tidal wave comes. Save yourselves says:
ahaahaha
alright POG I'll be SL1
v; sic transit gloria... glory fades. [away] says:
cool
you are officially more retarded than i am
good job
Be sure when the tidal wave comes. Save yourselves says:

i feellike it now okay.
i'm not depriving u ofg ur special time okay.
v; sic transit gloria... glory fades. [away] says:
SEE! pog is infectious!
omg.
when i become some awesome doctor
i'll find this disease
and name it POG.
Be sure when the tidal wave comes. Save yourselves says:
......yes it is called retardism
v; sic transit gloria... glory fades. [away] says:
stands for PRE-SYNDROME OSMOSIS ... UH... G... G... GUMBALLS.
wth
i couldn't find a sciency enough name
=/
Be sure when the tidal wave comes. Save yourselves says:
unhuh......when u have a certificate i'll believe you
v; sic transit gloria... glory fades. [away] says:
I WILL
i'll name the cure
Be sure when the tidal wave comes. Save yourselves says:
yes yes
v; sic transit gloria... glory fades. [away] says:
ZOEY.

I want to sleep.

2008-09-21T03:01:00.000-07:00

My eyelids feel like their carry my cat on them and my head is going to burst. I love death cab. It makes me feel drifty, floaty. Like I'm some where else. I want to be somewhere else. Somewhere where its never silent or can never smell of hospitals. That disgusting clean smell of medicine.

Its sickening.

Random

2008-09-18T00:25:00.000-07:00

Reading: To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee.

Quote: Shoot all the Bluejays you want but to shoot a Mockingbird is a sin.

It is a good book. =D

EntryOne. LYN CALLUM. Draft Only.

2008-09-10T23:59:00.000-07:00

The droning of teachers really can bore a person half to death. That's why students improvise.

Pretending: To take down notes, to laugh at their dumb jokes, to not be asleep during their lectures.

The list goes on.

By three thirty the bell that ends the school life has rung and most of the students have made it out the door before the teacher.

I supposed I was one of them, on a usual day. But today I was especially slow. I did not want to rush I did not want to have the fast paced rush of adrenaline.

Today was slow on purpose.

I leaned over to the left of my table to grab my bag from its hook. As I leaned over I noticed a small square of cream folded paper sticking out from my bag. On plucking it out of my bag I noticed it had my name written backwards, NYL, on it.

I look around to see I was the only one left. But as I was about to open it I heard the odd sound of my best friend hollering for me. I sighed, tucked it into my pocket, grabbed my sling-bag, and exited the room.

Outside Vix Dale was leaning against the lockers talking to Bob.

Vix had been my friend for four years now. Ever since Hannah introduced us at her birthday and then when we moved into the same neighborhood. Just luck I guessed.

Vix was a wild yet composed person if it was even possible to say that. She was smart and organized but hated to do boring things and liked experimenting in every way.

Look wise she was slightly shorter than me, slightly pale, Ebony black hair until her waist with a long side fringe, and dark midnight blue eyes that sparkled.

She was beautiful. That was what she thought and so did the rest of the school.

Anyway, Bob noticed me and waved. Vix turned around grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the stairs to go down.

After two flights she slowed down. "Thank you... for saving me. God that boy is annoying. Before you came out he was jumping on my shoulders. One day... One day... I will get revenge," said Vix, exasperatedly.

I let out an ah and chuckled. "Yeah, yeah I know. Then he'll have no manlyness cause of castration," I said. She made an "ouch" face and laughed.

"Okay enough about Boob. I want to ask you something. Plaese please say yes," she said. I stared at her curiously, wondering if I should be worried.

"There is a party at my dad's club please please come with me because Charleen has the flu and I have no one to go with. I'll be lonely..." she said very fast.

Entry one. Draft only.

2008-09-09T01:54:00.000-07:00

Small Vix entry - Vivi's.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Inhale. Exhale. Think sad. Think gory. Think bad.
At this moment a certain girl of sixteen years named Vix Dale was trying her very best not to explode with laughter. But even thoughts of car crashes and torturing penguins could not keep her from shaking with glee.

The cause of this situation came in the form a boy named Bob Giledoor. Ever since the beginning of their recess he had been spewing word after word of ridiculously funny crap. Poor helpless Vix was subject to this torment for half an hour before the boy toddled off somewhere to communicate with his Chinese[mandarin] friends.

She was left to try and calm herself down but seemed unable to and her body could not take much more laughter. It didn't help that her best girlfriend was not in sight. At least she could have chased Bob away earlier, thought Vix.

These were the reasons why she was holding her breath and seemed to turn blue almost purple. Just as all hope seemed lost a hand collided with her back and made her yelp out in pain.

Furious, she turned to see the best friend, named Lyn Callum, she had been hoping for earlier, standing their grinning. "Sorry darl. I forgot that leaving you all alone with Giledoor was a bit bad for your health. But I was in the library finishing up world history homework," the girl stated.

Vix glared at Lyn nonetheless. "Violent feral koala," she growled. "HEY. No name calling penguin. You still luv me anyway," countered Lyn, shaking a finger at he shorter girl.

Vix grinned evilly. She huffed, turned her chin up and mumbled a taunting "Maybe," at Lyn.

Lyn mock cried out, hurt. Vix just snickered at her.
---

Crap- dedicated to Vivian Cheah

2008-09-07T22:54:00.000-07:00

Contemplation.

1. Deciding on coming to school the next day
2. Deciding whether she should date the idiot she loves*(maybe)

Realization

1. That she might miss both Sej and BM if she skips
2. That she had to spend 120-110 on a new phone screen
3. That she is so blur. =D

Love ya vivy. not gay.

---

BLA

2008-08-14T00:11:00.000-07:00

“Constance Giovanni,” called the teacher. His bright blue eyes scanned the room until they rested on the raised hand. It belonged to a girl sitting right at the back beside the window. Her dark grey eyes pierced his and he quickly ticked her name and moved on. “Darren Sanders,” was next called. The boy asleep sitting next to Constance snorted and drearily raised his gloved hand. The teacher ticked his name as the boy yawned and rested his head on his arms again.

“Evan Baxter,” The dirty blonde boy in front of Constance raised his hand and grinned making the teacher uneasy. Ticking the name and moving on he finished the list in the next ten minutes. The class watched him intently as he shuffled through the papers of their class records. They were the worst class in the grade. But their test results were the best. Their studies were up to date. It amazed most of the teachers that such adolescent students had time to study or even picked up their text books. But they got used to it. Now a new teacher has come and he has to learn, not to mess with his class. He was appointed as their homeroom teacher. The last made a grave mistake and moved into a mental asylum.

When Alexander Emile read this he was not frightened or disturbed just annoyed that they had not told him anymore than that. He looked at the students over again once more and adjusted his glasses. His eyes cold as Constance’s stared at them and his lips curled into a devilish smile. “My name is Alexander Emile, Mr. Emile to you. As you should already know I am your new homeroom teacher. I’m very sorry to hear about your last teacher and hope we will get along better,” he said. Emile leaned against the desk and waited for someone to say something.

The dirty blonde named Evan raised a hand lazily. “Yes Mister Baxter?” “Um… what like subject will you be um… like… teachin’, dude?” he said. Darren snorted awake again and looked at Emile drearily. “Dude… A studs’ in ma room…man…” he said. Constance threw her text book with amazing grace and it whacked Darren smack dab in the face. Darren fell out of his chair and smacked his face on the floor. “The studs’ a teacher, twit. Wake up for god sake,” said Constance. The class erupted in laughs. This was normal for them.

She grinned. Emile blinked. She was grinning at him. His lips curled into a smile. “Thank you Miss Giovanna,” he said politely. “Your welcome, Mr. Emile,” she said. “Ho-SHIT. Did you just?” said Darren. She glared at him again and he slumped down back into his seat. He looked at Constance who was grinning.
This is an interesting class, he thought. He didn’t know the half of it.

It scared him.

2008-08-06T23:58:00.000-07:00

He felt for the chair behind him and just let his body fall limply onto it. A chill ran through his body and he shuddered. The room was silent to the maximum. It was deafening to him. There was no sound, no clatter, no breath, no warmth of another. He was alone. Completely alone.

Tears. Hot glistening tears streamed down his cheeks. He gripped the table with such intensety that one would think it might break. His heart was in pain. This pain, he would never in his life show anyone.

He had not cried. Not since he found the body on his balcony. His father's body.

It was cold. Cold and lifeless.

The day he saw the body he cried so much that he could not cry for a another week. The minute he saw the body his own body took control. The tears came out by themselves. He did not even notice until Haiden came to pick him up and found him like that.

He had touched the body. It was cold and soft. Soft like silky tissue soft. Not like human flesh soft.

But that did not disturb him. It was the eyes. His father's glassy brown eyes filled with emptiness. It was as if they followed him. They stared and stared at him. Only him. That scared him the most. Whenever he was alone, whenever he closed his eyes they were there.

Haunting him.

---

Excrept from my story in progress hopiong you like it. Trying to do description.

Zoey=D
Ps. yes I have touched a dead body before. Human.

say PUNK

2008-08-04T05:18:00.000-07:00

I do not know why but today people said I looked punk... Hehe just cause I rolled my short sleeves and had only one ring earing in. Sweat.

Oh well. Today was rather tiring. Sick. Had food posioning from some fried rice I ate. Damn I have shitty luck. Ah viv keeps nagging for me to get Facebook even if it private. Yes yes Vivy I will get one. Sometime......=d

Ah manga....

Persuasion. What is the meaning of persuasion. It has many meanings. But you can go and look for them your self.

Nuetral Feeling

2008-08-01T05:45:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel stuck between being happy and something else not close enough to sadness?

Its weird. I do not know whether to still feel upset about something that I should not be about because everybody else thinks I should not. Is that right, I ask you? I am... confused to say the least.
Everything else for me is fine. But I hate men. I hate them and love em. I hate them for hurting me and thinking they did not just cause I smile. But I love them because my heart aches as I watch them. Meaning I still like them no matter what people say.

I am scared.

So very scared.

I do not know how to comunicate well therefore people think I am stuck up most probably. I have no idea how to tell my friends at all. So I write. I write and write and write and draw. I get to see the fantasy I want on the page. I want the fantasy to jump out at me and say 'I am real'. But tha would never happen I realize. My whole world falls on me.

-_-